Parenting & Other Life Stories

Fall suddenly or heavily asleep

The Penis Chronicles presents, “Fall suddenly or heavily asleep.” The google definition of zonk as a verb is “1. Hit or strike 2. Fall or cause to fall suddenly and heavily asleep or lose consciousness” (February 7, 2017). My older boy has an amazing ability to zonk out; it has never been a trait I… Continue reading Fall suddenly or heavily asleep

Parenting & Other Life Stories

Your Guess is as Good as Mine

I hear bickering. I hear: 7 year old: “Oh yeah, you’re a vagina king!” 4 year old: “Smell my butt!” Now, had these boys been about 10 years older I am sure I would have died from shock. However, my alarmed brain realized that they were selecting random word combinations for maximum impact. So, “vagina… Continue reading Your Guess is as Good as Mine


By Way of Explanation

The Penis Chronicles presents, “By Way of Explanation.“ The four year old yells, “mom call the man, call the man!” My husband looks askance. The four year old leaves off his “call the man” chant to press his face against the window and yell, “There’s Steve, there’s Steve.” The seven year old leaps from the… Continue reading By Way of Explanation

Parenting & Other Life Stories

Twilight Walkers

My bedroom is shrouded in twilight. The sounds of tiny feet shuffling on the carpet breaches the silence. I pretend to get a few more minutes of sleep. The bed rustles and tiny bodies slide against my sides still warm from their own sleeps. I sigh inwardly wondering when their internal alarms will stop sounding… Continue reading Twilight Walkers

Parenting & Other Life Stories

Dream a Little Dream

“Mommy I can’t sleep tonight. I’m going to have a bad dream.” The little voice cried from beneath the depths of blankets and stuffed animals. This was quickly becoming a regular occurrence that needed to be curbed. Hmm, I thought to myself as I looked down at the tiny form that was now reaching up… Continue reading Dream a Little Dream

Parenting & Other Life Stories

A Who Needs Post

Who needs _________________________ when you have kids and/or dogs? Who needs an alarm clock when you can wake up to the sound of the dog throwing up?! Who needs an air freshener when you have the natural scent of “oh-de-toilet” thanks to your children who like to leave their poop fermenting in the toilet? “Who… Continue reading A Who Needs Post