Who needs _________________________ when you have kids and/or dogs?
- Who needs an alarm clock when you can wake up to the sound of the dog throwing up?!
- Who needs an air freshener when you have the natural scent of “oh-de-toilet” thanks to your children who like to leave their poop fermenting in the toilet?
“Who needs” #3 and #4 can go either way depend on the way the wind blows:
- Who needs a diet when your kids sneak food from your plate until your meal is gone? (I sat down between my boys for dinner, I blink and during that time boy 1 ate my turkey sausage and I found boy 2 hurriedly consuming my scrambled eggs!)
- In a family of four who needs to cook a meal for four when the children feed the scrapes to one parent or the other?!
- Who needs a vacuum or a broom when the dog licks the floor clean after every meal?
- Who needs a lawn morrow when your dog behaves like a goat!? (This might actually be connected to point number one.)
- Who needs an alarm when the dog sticks his cold nose in your face at four in the morning because he wants to go pee and be fed his breakfast?!
- Who needs an alarm with kids that get up at the crack of dawn and seem to need to wake everyone else up too!?
- Who needs a bank account when you have kids: another fundraiser, field trip, school pizza order, $1 for this and a $1 for that, 900 birthday parties (gifts required), Scholastic book orders, book fairs, growing out of clothing, losing clothing, ripping clothing…?
- Who needs entertainment when you have kids or dogs? The dog just fell out of the chair because he stretched too far. The child just turned around and ran directly into the wall, a wall that has been in the same place for his entire life…
What are some of your ideas on a “Who needs…”?
By Shari Marshall – 2018