I think my first post for The Penis Chronicles was simply called Raising Boys: The Penis Chronicles I posted it in 2016. In 2017 I participated in the A – Z challenge and all my posts were Raising Boys: The Penis Chronicles. Letter A can be found here: Raising Boys: The Penis Chronicles presents the… Continue reading Introducing the chronicles as a weekly platform
I hear bickering. I hear: 7 year old: “Oh yeah, you’re a vagina king!” 4 year old: “Smell my butt!” Now, had these boys been about 10 years older I am sure I would have died from shock. However, my alarmed brain realized that they were selecting random word combinations for maximum impact. So, “vagina… Continue reading Your Guess is as Good as Mine
“That’s great that you put your shirt on, but your ass will be cold on the way to school if you don’t put on your underwear and pants” (Letter T 2017 A-Z). He comes flying into the room wearing only his pajama shirt and carrying the days clothing. A devilish smirk is plastered on his… Continue reading Mental Eye Roll
Several days before my younger son told his own dragon story, which he told as mostly description, I had told the boys a story about a pink dragon: Dragon Yawn. I know he enjoyed Dragon Yawn because his good morning story was about a dragon. He climbed onto my side of the bed and wiggled… Continue reading Um, Pardon?
The Penis Chronicles presents, “Slow Motion Terror.“ A bike out of control. The training wheels inhibit the fall over maneuver. Instead he careens toward the steep drop. The rider is frantic. Fear is in the air. Closer, closer: no stopping. I’m too far back to have a successful reaction. It’s happening to fast; I’m seeing… Continue reading Slow Motion Terror
The swing glided back. The swing zoomed forward, but this time the swing went back without its rider! The rider continued to zoom forward out of the swing’s seat. The rider’s body was flat, flying through the air being led by the feet. Imagine the rider seeing the clouds above flying behind the top of… Continue reading A Lesson in Swinging: Hold On
With the utmost love I refer to my youngest son as a demon sent straight from hell to torment me. With that in mind, I can’t afford to be one of those parents who suffers with shame when my child does the unthinkable because I would be continuously ricocheting off the walls of those long… Continue reading Warning!
Who needs _________________________ when you have kids and/or dogs? Who needs an alarm clock when you can wake up to the sound of the dog throwing up?! Who needs an air freshener when you have the natural scent of “oh-de-toilet” thanks to your children who like to leave their poop fermenting in the toilet? “Who… Continue reading A Who Needs Post
My older boy is notorious for “mak[ing] fun of or attempt[ing] to provoke in a playful way” (google definition of tease: March 5, 2017). One of his favourite ways to tease is by trying to catch me off guard, particularly in regards to age. “Mom how old are you, 76?” a young voice inquires with a… Continue reading A – Z Blogging Challenge, Raising Boys: The Penis Chronicles presents the Letter Y for Youthful
I warred with myself on this title. It was a toss-up between “What did he say?” and “Why do we teach them to speak?” I am sure at some point we have all heard swearwords coming out of a toddler’s mouth. In my experience they usually get the context correct when they utter those foul… Continue reading A – Z Blogging Challenge, Raising Boys: The Penis Chronicles presents the Letter W for What did he say?
Brewing Coffee, Twisting Words & Breaking Pencils 