Picture this.

You are sitting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, and the room is moderately full. There is a soft hum of whispered talking. A woman enters with two boys in tote, they appear to be about 3 and 6 years old. Cute little boys, active but doing their best to try and blend into the hushed tones of the waiting room. The three of them check-in and take seats.

Kids flock to kids, so the only other child in the room gravitates toward the boys. This little one is a tiny friendly girl, probably about 3 or maybe a little younger. Anyway, she is happily distributing the waiting room magazines to whoever looks at her. The 6 year old leans over and whispers to his mother that the little girl is cute. Mom smiles at her son and turns to watch the little girl.

Suddenly there is a loud rumbling blast of air followed immediately by a second blast. The waiting room has gone so quiet that the sound of a pin dropping isn’t just a clichéd statement but a hard factual reality. The sound that has silenced that waiting room was gas being past loudly and thoroughly. It seems almost in slow motion that mom, who quickly realized where the noise was coming from, turns back toward her own children. A look of complete horror crosses her face and she starts to colour slightly.

On the chair beside her, her 3 year has turned around kneeling on the chair. His tiny bottom is pushed up into the air facing the waiting room and he is passing gas.

Now in case it isn’t clear, I was the horrified mother whose son was creating loud gaseous noises with his bum. Now I’m not sure if he was climbing up on the chair and it squeaked out and he froze or if it was a deliberate act of boy humour. I have to hope it was the first option. Regardless, it was an experience I hadn’t expected.

Now I have read other mom’s posts on boys and “farting” and heard other mom’s stories and I am still stumped by what makes this bodily sound so amusing. This was our first public display of fun filled farting, and thankful after a brief explanation about directing farts, manners, socially acceptable behaviour, and etcetera it hasn’t happened in any rude and socially unacceptable form since. However, passing gas remains an all-out belly laugh rolling on the ground sort of activity when the boys are goofing around. They also seem eager to claim the worst smell in the room!

Raising boys and F for Farts leaves this mom stumped.

By Shari Marshall – April 7, 2017