It’s so bright: luminous. I’m positive that I glow with its energy as it threatens to control me, to break free from the place inside me that I have it confined. Unconsciously I have no desire to control it. I am overcome with the desire to be consumed by it, to let the frenzy claim us all in its beautiful wave of euphoria. There will be no breaking into white foam when this breaker hits the shore because this shit is eternal: limits and boundaries cease to exist…
I feel it poised at the tip of my toes, that dark abyss. An invisible fissure that those around me can’t see even when I plunge over the side in a free fall. My balance lost as I grapple in a violent confrontation with unseen demons. The twist and twine of their tendrils strive to engulf me like hungry algae desperate to claim the swimmer. Here there is an absence of light and it is in this place farthest away from the centre of myself, lost in the darkness, that the monsters become more then mysterious silhouettes or murky shadows… Until I crash into the light again.
By Shari Marshall – 2019