Secret Life or No Secret Life

If I asked you to live a secret life what would you say?

For me, that question will haunt me till the day my secret life kills me. I can still see the young naïve me sitting in that roadside diner booth staring doe-eyed at the intimidating figure in front of me. I remember whispering the words, “what do you mean?” all the while thinking hell yes sign me up. Secret life here I come.

At first I thought the secret life thing would be easy. I even thought it would be fun. I envisioned coded messages on the sides of mail boxes, stealthy communication with mysterious but sexy individuals, and a general life full of movie like adventure. The reality of it wasn’t quite the same.

Secret messages came in the form of texts from unknown random numbers on my cell phone. “Work” I would initially say by way of explanation to my spouse. “Work.” Unfortunately, as time went on the “work” explanation wasn’t as convincing as it once was especially when coded messages said things like “2300 – I’ll be alone” or “meet in the usual spot” or “look for the one in slim black tights” and on and on.  Naturally, unlike made for TV spouses there is a breaking point.

Stealth communication was usually a grunt or a nod and mysterious and sexy isn’t something that fits the description of the people I communicate with. There are no fancy hotel rooms, usually it’s the roach motel because there is a budget and a low key persona. Really there is no movie like adventure because what I am doing isn’t detailed by a Hollywood script… Furthermore, hours are strange and there isn’t predictability ever!

Who are real friends when your life is a secret or a fraud? Where does family go? Is there an end? Can you go back to a life before the charade?

The question that plagues me now is, if asked to do it all over again would you?

If I asked you to live a secret life what would you say?

By Shari Marshall – 2019

secret life feb 14 2019 image

4 thoughts on “Secret Life or No Secret Life

  1. I would be sorely tempted, but with the handful of responsibilities I accepted, my questions would likely wash me out as a candidate for having one. But what if the parameters were different and I could have better control and passion for the mission and the chance to – hmmm. Maybe my secret life is best restricted to what I can cram into a blog post. I could be a virtual friend with an opinion – but can we keep this just between you and me?

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