Raising Boys: The Penis Chronicles presents “Holes in Walls”

I didn’t actually see it happen, but my head snapped in his direction when he made the sound. I was aware of some kind of bizarre movement and there was a soft cracking noise. Directly proceeding this there was a crying-howl, like a hideous lamentation, it sounded like some strange mix of a wolf howling accompanied by crying. For a brief second my mind thought of the Gaelic term caoineadh which means to cry and to weep, keen. However, before I could follow that line of thought I watched as my son, still producing his keening noise, bolted doubled over towards the doorway but missed it by a country mile and ran head first into the wall. He bounced back and managed to keep his original forward movement as he successfully navigated through the open doorway and disappeared to the chorus of his own passionate expression of sorrow.

I felt my eyes pop wide watching his botched escape, and I had to stifle a wave of laughter but the words “holy shit” might have actually slipped past my lips. Anyway, turns out he had bent his wrist the wrong way while goofing around and not doing what he had been asked to do. Hmm, imagine. I believe it scared him more than it hurt: no break or sprain.

Now he didn’t actually put a hole in the wall this time, miraculously. He was going so fast with his head down I am quite surprised that he didn’t run right through the wall completely and plough a new entrance to his room. Regardless, we tease him about making a hole in the wall with his head.

By Shari Marshall – 2018