Parenting & Other Life Stories

Warning: It isn’t for Entertainment

The Penis Chronicles presents “Warning: It isn’t for Entertainment

A tiny voice carries down the stairs and it is yelling with a mischievous urgency, “smell this, smell this!”

How many parenting warnings are going off in your head? In my experience that mischievous urgent voice coupled with that devilish laugh is cause for a complete halt in whatever I’m doing and a fast check-in on the boys. The words “smell this” usually aren’t coupled with flowers or fresh fruit!

So, up the stairs I go. One child is now crying in the hall and the other child is locked in the bathroom. (Heavy Sigh) Once I have gained entry to the bathroom I don’t get a chance to speak before the crying child thrusts his Nintendo DS into my hand and says that his brother threw it into the toilet. “Smell this” has just been given an explanation.

At this point the colour red is an appropriate description of my emotions as I do my continuous parental assessment of the situation. I do wish that this was where the story ended but it continued through the various shades of angry and some horror too! It seems the older boy thought taking bathroom pictures on the DS would be funny. Sure enough when I looked at the picture log on the working DS there was blurry pictures of one of their bums and a penis.

Now we have had conversations about privates and not showing them or letting them be touched and not to touch other peoples’…the whole account. So, “what the fuck” doesn’t quite sum up what was rolling through my mind. Furthermore, I have parent locks on both DS devices for internet access and shopping…any of the things I foresaw as possibly problematic or a safety issue. Apparently my strong suit isn’t foretelling!

Seriously though? What is it with boys and private parts as funny, humourous, and a great form of entertainment?  Smells, smelling, farting, fart noises, inappropriate places to pee, scratching, calling each other penis, calling each other vagina, mooning and etcetera. I can’t imagine two girls calling each other a vagina or a penis and laughing about it.

Needless to say we had to revisit the discussion of private parts and what is and isn’t okay to do with our parts including a chapter on the do’s and don’ts of photography.

By Shari Marshall – 2019

The Penis Chronicles is a weekly platform for sharing childcare stories, advice and etcetera. Raising children is an adventures! And please, I know the title says “penis chronicles”, but stories about raising girls are very much welcome. Please post and share your link and/or your comments in the comments section below and then share this link on your social media.

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